Ep 80: Movement Shouldn't Make Your Body Feel Worse w/ Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP
Join me, Destiny, and Kamilah Jones PharmD, LPC, CRC on Febraury 22nd for our new workshop, Reclaiming Intimacy: A Workshop on Sex Therapy for Bodies In Pain.
The Reality of Movement with Chronic Illness
Let's talk about something that's been on my mind lately (actually who am I kidding, it’s always on my mind) – how we approach movement when living with chronic illness or pain. I've been thinking about this a lot, especially after my recent conversation with Dr. Monica Blied, and I want to share some thoughts that might help you navigate your own movement journey.
First things first: movement shouldn't make your body feel worse. I know that might sound obvious, but how many times have you pushed yourself too hard because you felt like you "should" be able to do more? I get it – I've been there too. Even with a personal trainer for a husband (yes, really!), I've struggled with finding the right balance.
Here's the thing about living in a chronically ill or painful body: most people don't get it. They don't understand that some days, just getting out of bed feels like running a marathon. They don't get that we can't just "push through" or that what worked yesterday might not work today. And that's okay – they don't need to understand. But YOU need to understand and honor where your body is at.
A Gentler Approach to Movement
Dr. Monica shared some really beautiful insights about approaching movement in a way that actually serves our bodies. Here are some ideas that we think might help anyone, anywhere:
1. Use Technology to Your Advantage
You don't need expensive gym memberships or fancy equipment. Apps like FitOn offer free workouts with trainers of all different body types and abilities. You can do everything from gentle stretching to strength training, and yes – you can do it from your bed if that's what your body needs today.
2. Embrace the Slow Pace
This one's huge, y'all. When we finally have a good energy day, it's so tempting to go all out. But you know what happens next – we end up depleted for days or even weeks. So instead, try starting with just 5 minutes of gentle stretching. Yes, really – just 5 minutes! Think of it like drinking water. You wouldn't try to make up for a week of dehydration by drinking gallons in one day, right? (Actually, if you’re like me, you probably have tried this. And you quickly found out why it’s not a great idea…)
3. Find Your Movement Buddies
This one is big for me, but it took me a loooong time to get past my social anxiety and actually join a group class. FitOn has body-doubling zoom meeting where you can workout with others, if you feel that’s the missing link to your motivation levels. Sometimes just knowing someone else is moving their body mindfully alongside you is all you need to get into a consistent practice. Personally, I went from needing to be with a personal trainer 1:1, then I finally built up the courage and safety to do a group class, and now I can actually work out at home all by myself - something I NEVER thought I’d be able to do!
The Most Important Piece: Self-Compassion
We have to talk about grace for a minute, because this might be the most important part of all. Living in a body with chronic pain or illness is HARD. Some days you might only manage one stretch, or you might need to skip movement altogether. Your best will look different every day, and that's not just okay – it's normal. As hard as it is to accept our limitations, it’s actually critically important. When you push yourself past your limits and beat yourself up about how you feel, you send danger signals from your nervous system to your mind. This does the opposite of what you actually want (progress.)
Progress isn't linear. Far from it. Dr. Monica shared that her journey to consistent movement took a year and a half, and it wasn't about exercising every day. It was more like "having a real good week of exercising two days that week, and then maybe not exercising yet for three weeks." Sound familiar?
Sometimes movement means doing range-of-motion exercises in bed. Sometimes it means gentle chair yoga. Sometimes it means celebrating that you stretched your arms above your head once today. It ALL counts.
And that’s why Dr. Blied’s app, Face of Health, offers a little of everything related to mindful, self-compassionate, and gentle movement.
A Quick Note About Discomfort vs. Pain
This is tricky to talk about, because there's a fine line between beneficial discomfort and actual pain. When I wake up, I'm often tight and braced from sleep. Stretching can feel uncomfortable – but there's a difference between that kind of discomfort and actual pain. Learning to recognize that difference is part of the journey, and it's okay if it takes time.
When I put my feet on the ground in the morning, I have aches and pains that used to make me feel like I had arthritis, and I thought I was doing damage by stepping more with my feet. Turns out, that pain I’m feeling isn’t a signal to stop moving, it’s a signal to stress and move more (but again, slooowwlllyyy and mindfully, not forcefully and dismissively.
Moving Forward
Remember these key things:
Movement should add to your energy, not drain it
Your "best" will look different every day
Small, consistent efforts add up over time
It's okay to start exactly where you are
If you're feeling overwhelmed by all this, that's completely normal. Maybe start by just following your body's natural urge to stretch when you wake up. Or try one chair yoga video. Or simply raise your arms over your head while sitting in bed.
Whatever you choose, remember this: you're not alone in this journey. Your movement doesn't have to look like anyone else's. What matters is finding what works for YOUR body, on YOUR timeline, in YOUR way.
Take it slow, be gentle with yourself, and remember – movement shouldn't make your body feel worse. It should be something that helps you feel more at home in your body, one small stretch at a time.
What small movement could you try today? Remember, it doesn't have to be perfect – it just has to be yours. 💕
Check out Dr. Monica Blied’s app, Faces of Health, which includes practical resources like
Mindfulness Meditation for Stress Reduction
Diaphragmatic Breathing for Vagal Toning (i.e., Vagus Nerve Stimulation)
Alternate Nostril Breathing and Other Breathwork Exercises for Focus or Relaxation
EMDR Bilateral Tapping
EFT Energy Tapping
Chair-Yoga Range of Motion Exercises for Fascia Softening
Brainspotting self-spotting Exercises
Grounding meditations, Breath Prayers, Coloring Book, and a Community feature
…And new content uploaded every month!
Want to listen to the podcast interview? Click here for Episode 80: Movement Shouldn't Make Your Body Feel Worse
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Episode transcribed with AI and will contain errors that are not representative of the actual word or meaning of the sentence.
Dr. Monica Blied
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Destiny Davis LPC CRC: [00:00:00] In today's episode, we talk a lot about how to be kind with your body while you're trying to figure out what kind of workouts and fitness routines work for you. Dr. Monica Blied shares with us how her own experience with chronic illness and neurodivergence has helped her create this app that aims to provide a lot of flexibility And support in not only your fitness routine, but also things like somatic exercises and breathing exercises. And basically those things that Just help us take care of our body on a day to day basis that are actually really hard.
I've been thinking a lot about this lately and we talked a little bit about it in the episode and Sometimes it can feel like with all of the marketing around somatic work It just feels like we're supposed to be doing this extra chore on top of everything else and you know It can feel really overwhelming So hopefully what you gained from this episode is that everything that you are learning to better your [00:01:00] physical health, better your mental health, better your support system, all of these things should kind of be stacking on top of each other
And they should be just skills that you have that are kind of intertwined throughout your day. It shouldn't be, in my opinion, an hour of somatic work each morning. Or, you know, um, needing to go to, like, a yoga class three times a week, you know, in a Um, fancy studio, like that's not what it's supposed to look like.
It really is supposed to be some chores and some tasks that we're going to talk about here today will be kind of standalone tasks like brushing your teeth. You know, when you're brushing your teeth, the only thing you're doing during that moment is brushing your teeth. You can't do anything else. Um, maybe do your skincare, but the point is.
There are some things that will take a chunk of your time and we have to figure out how to incorporate Those things into our day if they're worth it, but that's the other piece to all this I mean, how do you know [00:02:00] what's worth it for you and your body and You really aren't going to know until there's a lot of trial and error.
So with apps like dr. Monica's and the fit on app, which I haven't personally used So I can't speak to the app myself, but Dr. Blied had a lot of really great things to say about it. So I hope you will listen to this episode with lots of compassion and lightheartedness because movement shouldn't make your body feel worse.
It should be a part of your daily routine that helps Give you energy, not suck energy out of you. Um, and so for those of you who have experienced anything like post exertional malaise, I know that this is a really tricky topic for you and it's just important to remember that taking it slow little by little really starts to add up and we have to let go of the all or nothing thinking in order to move our bodies in any way.
So I hope this feels helpful and I hope you will join [00:03:00] us this Saturday. We are going to be doing a new workshop called reclaiming intimacy, a workshop for bodies in pain that will be this Saturday at 10 30 a. m. Eastern. That is, um, February 22nd, 2025, and it will be with Kamilah Jones.
She's a sex therapist here in Atlanta, and I'm really looking forward to doing this workshop with her. So here is my interview with Dr. Monica Blied.
And if you gain anything from this episode, send me a DM on Instagram. I love to hear what little nuggets really stand out to you so I can do more and more episodes around the topics that you guys actually find interesting. It can be really lonely on the other end of a podcast mic, kind of putting this information out into the ether, not really knowing what is resonating or not resonating with people.
So anything that you can share that feels helpful for you is helpful for me. So thank you.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: So I love for you to kind of tell us Dr. Monica, how [00:04:00] you got started in like working with chronic illness and chronic pain and, and also what you do in your day to day practice. And then you can kind of go a little bit into exactly what we're going to talk about today around fitness.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Okay, awesome.
So yeah, Dr. Monica Blied. I am a psychologist in private practice in Claremont, California. And my journey, I would say, started with myself. So my second year of grad school, I was diagnosed with lupus. And with a lot of autoimmune diseases, they'll lie dormant genetically until something kind of turns it on.
And so I did have a trauma in my life at that time that kind of turned it on. And I was really fortunate to have a diagnosis within six months of having symptoms. The average time of diagnosis for lupus specifically is over five years. And so at this time, I was working, um, clinically. So, you know, doing my [00:05:00] practicums with individuals who were living with HIV and AIDS.
And I noticed that a lot of the symptoms that I had kind of mapped onto the symptoms that they were having as far as chronic pain and fatigue and inflammation. Um, but a major difference was that I could tell someone that I had lupus. And they face some serious stigma and even being ostracized from their communities and church family if they told someone that they were HIV positive.
And so I didn't disclose to anyone that year, any of my patients that I have chronic illness, but I think some of them knew and could tell by the way that I approached our work together and the compassion that I had. And that really, um, shaped. My future and wanting to like what type of population that I wanted to work with clinically.
So fast [00:06:00] forward, many years after graduating I worked actually before graduating and my internship I focused on behavioral medicine, which is the integration of psychology with medical care. So people living with diabetes and hypertension and cancer and. You know, the whole gamut and how do you support someone with lifestyle medicine with different interventions for their mind, body and spirit.
And so after graduating, I went into, um, postdoc that was similar was health prevention, health promotion and disease prevention at the VA, um, ended up. Uh, leaving my postdoc early to be the manager over the department where I was doing my postdoc, which was, uh, such a blessing. Um, it's something that typically doesn't happen.
So I was the program manager for health promotion and disease prevention at the [00:07:00] VA. And, um, at my particular facility started the whole health program, which again is looking at how can we help people who are living with chronic pain and chronic illnesses, but at the same time facing this, um, this change in laws that care a lot at that time, where Kara, where, um, physicians have to titrate down on their opioid medications.
So they still have the same amount of pain, but now they don't have access to the treatment that was helping. So developing, um, programs for Tai Chi and acupuncture and chair yoga. Um, I've gotten certified that year to be able to develop a program in that at the VA and biofeedback and, um, mindfulness. Um, training.
And so, um, I spent, um, I was there for, um, just under three years developing these [00:08:00] programs and developed a passion for it because these are things that helped people living with chronic illnesses and chronic pain, but then also things that helped me. I'm like, perfect, you know, win win personal professional life.
And so when I transitioned to my private practice in 2020, I wanted to continue that work. And that's what I've been doing where, um, a portion of the patient, excuse me, um, in private practice is clients, but the client population that I work with are individuals who are living with. Lupus and fibromyalgia and, um, EDS, others, Danlow syndrome and MCAS and POTS and, you know, so on and so forth.
It's normally like, you don't have one chronic illness, it's like multiple, multiple. And the same thing with me, I was later diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic migraines. And so that relatability is something that I bring to my private practice. I'm not a [00:09:00] blank slate. I'm a whole person. Um, and I think the clients that I work with really appreciate that.
Of course, my experiences will not map on identically to any of my clients. However, I can approach them with a measure of compassion, this and open mindedness. That is, um, you know, something that they haven't gotten from therapists who aren't chronically ill, who don't get the limitations and that we have to live with and the grief and joys that come along with living in a sick body.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah, I definitely, yeah, resonate with all of that. Yeah, and it's not that you as a professional, like, can't work with someone if you haven't experienced the same trauma or the same thing, but there is, like you said earlier, clients knew by the level of compassion. And I think you can be super compassionate, but there's still just this, like, small little difference of the kind of compassion that comes with knowing [00:10:00] just what it's like to be in a situation like that.
And, yeah, I do think clients can pick up on that, and that's why. A lot of people are seeking out therapists right now that have their same kind of lived identity of whatever that identity is, right,
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: right, right. Yeah. And in part of the identity piece, you know, kind of unfold it for me doing this work because the second half of my private practice, I work with neurodivergent individuals doing assessment.
So doing testing. To identify individuals who have a DHD or autism or some sort of learning difference. And, um, I actually was not identified, uh, to have a DHD until I was 37. Yeah. And autism came after that. And so it was strange because with the chronic illness piece, it was just like coming in with compassion, with my fore knowing.
Um, and then with the neurodivergence. piece. Like I had been doing [00:11:00] assessment for years. So since 2011 and just really connecting super well with people with unique brain styles and like, yeah, you know, I get that. That makes sense. Yeah. And, and being able to pick up on those, um, little nuances, little differences that you don't necessarily get from just filling out a form because there are some like, yes.
That's, that's the answer, but not in all cases and getting that piece and later on finding out like, Oh, that's why I connect so well with this population. That's, you know, why I can be so effective at this work. And, and like you said, destiny, um, you know, a therapist or a psychologist absolutely does not have to have an identical experience in order to be able to, to serve a population like.
Okay. A surgeon does not have to have had a, you know, um, heart transplant in [00:12:00] order to be really effective as a surgeon, you know, doing heart transplants. However, um, when you do, it just adds on this extra dimension that is quite irreplaceable. And I'm, and so I'm really grateful for the differences that I have, those, those uniquenesses that I can bring to the work that I do.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yes. Um, and when it comes to exercise, that is something that I think so many of us struggle with. For obvious reasons, pain, fatigue, um, probably also, let me know if we're going to get into this, but for me, there's a lot of like doing it right. And if you have ADHD or if you are autistic, like that gets in the way so, so fast.
So yeah, maybe, um, yes.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yeah, so I can tell you a little bit about my personal journey, and hopefully this is going to be [00:13:00] helpful for some of your listeners. Um, so I'm just laying it out there, you all, that I have to be super vulnerable and please don't judge me. I mean, judge me, do what you want. I'm still going to be me, but, um, yeah, super vulnerability, super transparent.
So one thing that helps with a number of chronic illnesses and chronic pain is being able to move your body in the right ways, and I'll explain the science behind it first, and then I'll share with you. My years of resistance and hardheadedness, um, for various reasons, including what you shared destiny of like the energy and the fatigue and, and pain, you know, that gets in the way, but exercise is so important for so many reasons.
One, it does. decrease levels of inflammation in our bodies and inflammation is the main culprit behind a lot [00:14:00] of the pain that people experience and activation, um, or prolongation of, um, autoimmune diseases. And it's even implicated in depression being present. Um, and a lot of people with chronic illnesses also have anxiety and depression.
So that's a huge factor with being able to move your body and exercise, decreasing inflammation. It increases, um, Happy chemicals in our bodies and endorphins and those sorts of things. So it can often boost our mood. But something that I learned just a few years ago that was really interesting when we exercise to the point of like, uh, elevating our heart rate, there's something, this protein that's produced called BDNF, which is brain derived neurotrophic factor.
And that does a couple things. One, it binds around the cells in our bodies that have been damaged by stress. So it helps to heal our [00:15:00] body and then it also, um, is involved in neurogenesis or the creation of new brain cells. And so like we can get all these benefits just from exercising. And so with me being like a scientist practitioner and like a whole human being, like I know all this stuff and still I struggled for years and years and years.
With having a regular exercise routine, and I'm though I'm using like past tense. Verbs. It's still the case today, right?
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: And my husband's a personal trainer, so Oh, okay, so ye are without excuse, girl! Don't let him
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: hear that, because
Right? Right. So same thing. And so, uh, but I have found things that have helped. And so I [00:16:00] have a three step suggestion, um, or list to help others who are listening. .
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Can I just say off the bat, I love that you're like, this is a suggestion because usually when we have these like. three step process. He's like, this is my full proof.
And like, everyone is so individual and different. And so this is just a suggestion. And also clearly it is through a lot of trial and error, which I think always produce the best like processes, but yes. Okay.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Thank you. Thank you. Yes. Individualized for each person. So this was my experience and hopefully it'll help some of your listeners one using technology.
And so I discovered through multiple, multiple Instagram ads, um, this app named fit on F I T O N. And, um, when the ads were coming on, it was like, celebrities were doing it. Like, why go to a gym when you can exercise for free at [00:17:00] home? And so I was like, okay, let me just try it out. And it legit, yes, they have a membership where you can upgrade or whatever, but like it's hundreds of different workouts by different trainers with different identities and body types.
For free. And so I did not know that, right? Yes. And so you can bid on if y'all listen to this, go ahead and send me a check. Yes.
Right? Because I'm not, yeah, I'm not like, you know, an official endorser or whatever, but it has been.
So helpful for me, where you can do Tai Chi or yoga or stretching or hit workouts and using dumbbells and strength training and so many other things with people who are thin or muscular, who are, um, you know, oversized, like they're with people who, you know, are cisgender and, you know, other identities.
And it's just like, [00:18:00] What? When do you see that in an app? It's just so refreshing, right? So first of all, using technology where, um, the way that I approached it was I started with turning on the app and doing stretching. And so you can do it from like five minutes, you know, 10 minutes up to an hour. So it's just like, okay, I'm going to do five minutes of stretching.
Right. And so number one is using technology. Number two was the slow pacing. And that's what I did because what happens a lot of times with chronic illness and chronic pain is that once we finally do have some energy, we're like, well, let me just push it out. Like I'm going to do, I know I haven't exercised in three months, but I'm about to do this, you know, one hour hit workout and CrossFit and things like that.
And then we're just like, On our backs depleted for the next few days or sometimes even a few weeks. So slow pacing and [00:19:00] listening to our bodies is so essential. You're going to say something destiny.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah, no, just agreeing. Yeah. Pacing. And there's a, um, you might have resources for this too, but there's a girl on Instagram, her tag is actively autoimmune and her whole like feet.
She's a physical therapist, like out in. I think Australia or something, but she does these slow exercises like, like you're watching these videos and I just think it's so important to be able to see what pacing looks like rather than just talking about it. I know for me, like, I did not understand it until I had seen her videos.
Like. So many times. And then I, and I would get like frustrated too, with even how slow she was moving. Right. Right. Right. And then I'm like, wait, okay, this is the work. This is the way to slow down. Yes.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: And when you're actually doing it, you're like, Oh, this feels good. Like I can do this. And the next day [00:20:00] I could even do it again because it didn't take, take away all my spoons.
Yes.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Right? That's a great way to gauge how, if you've done too much or not, are you able to do it again the next day?
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Mm hmm.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: And so I started with five minutes of stretching, you know, like literally on my bed because there are days when getting out of the bed is so much work. And so like, um, with the app, you can cast it to your TV.
So, you know, I'd have it on my phone, cast it to my TV and just be doing like, you know, range of motion exercises on the bed. Um, if you guys want an additional resource, I actually have videos on my YouTube page at Dr. Blied that have range of motion exercises and have chair yoga exercises as well for free.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Love that. Amazing. Yes. But you have a YouTube channel chair. Yeah. And then maybe you [00:21:00] can tell us a little bit about chair yoga too.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yes, yes, and that's also, um, featured in the Faces of Health app, which is a mental health skills training app, but it also teaches somatic exercises and has a chair yoga feature in there and is also completely free, uh, Faces of Health.
And so just popping out resources for you all. Um, and so I would start with that. And then eventually I built up the strength and, um, let's say vitality, but the energy to be able to do longer. stretches. And so it would be like 20 minutes stretches and then 30 minutes stretches and you all, you would not believe it.
Now I can do the strength training things. I have, I had three pound dumbbells. And so I started with the three pound dumbbells, working my arms and stuff. And he got to the point, I mean, like, [00:22:00] Let's go. Yeah. So those of you who are just listening and not watching, I just put like up my arms and made like simple and you can like see a little bit of muscle.
Okay. Oh yeah. I
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: love that. Amazing. Definitely listen to me on YouTube and Spotify video. So if you are listening, please go watch.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Oh yeah. So, and then eventually the three pound was too light for me. And so I started with five pound weights. And so this was not over the course of a month. Like this has been over the course of a year and a half.
And so people who are not chronically ill may listen to that and be like, wow, that's pathetic. But like, when you get it, you get it. If you know, you know, right. And so this is a huge accomplishment.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: And if you are chronically ill on one hand hope this if you're in the right space, this is really hopeful in another space it can be like a year and a half like I don't even want to [00:23:00] start because that already it just feels too long to think about it feels Out of reach.
I'm never going to last that long. I'm never going to be that consistent. Like these are some of the things that can come up and this is what we work on in therapy. I think finding your motivation and your why is so individual. Right. Um, because we all have different like backgrounds and experiences and thoughts and all of that.
But these like more general, like what we're doing here in the podcast, like this is the kind of a general guideline or framework or structure. I know I've listened to millions of these, and that's thousands of them, probably. That's what helped me find my own. And so you can listen to these things, take what you think applies to you, try not to let hopelessness get the best of you, and if it is, like, that's where our therapy services come into play.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Exactly. And working with your therapist and finding what works for you and taking it day by day or exercise by [00:24:00] exercise. And let me be again, humble, open, and transparent, you know, let's get hot up in here. Like Pastor Mike Todd would say, um, and It was not like, as far as consistency, this was not doing it every day for a year and a half.
This would be like doing it two days, like having a real good week of, you know, exercising two days that week, and then maybe not exercising yet for three weeks, you know, but then having another good week where I'm doing it like three days. I'm like, okay, cool. I'm consistent. And then not exercise them for like two weeks after that, but.
What I can, when I can.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah, that's been my experience too much to my husband's dismay, but that's all right.
That's okay. We've come to an understanding.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Right. No, a part of it is like listening to your body, you know, and sometimes, you know, your body is like, nope, I don't want to do anything. But [00:25:00] you know that what's. you is to do something. And so again, it can just be lifting your arms over your head, you know, only as goalposts and not all the way over.
If you have any issues with blood pressure, but like lifting your arms up, stretching it out, twisting from side to side, something to get your body moving.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: And you know, there's sensation in that, that isn't comfortable. Like I know this morning, I, myself, this was a big thing for me. Like I, sleep very like braced and so I wake up very tight.
And then when you go to like stretch that out, even slowly, I feel like. It can be really uncomfortable. And then for somebody who doesn't have the right emotional support or the right, like just support in general around this, it's like, Oh, well, I'm just, I'm like hurting myself more so that we stay kind of bundled up, but discomfort is so much a part of the process.
It doesn't mean you should be hurting. It doesn't mean pushing through it. Oh, discomfort. It's such a new, this is like, it's so hard to talk about in [00:26:00] words, because on one hand you should not push through the pain and on the other hand. There are a lot of uncomfortable things that you should slowly and gently keep moving through, and that's hard to figure out, I feel like.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yeah, and so I can start with physical therapy, some insurances like my insurance recently offered it have physical therapy remotely, where it's like videos online and you know someone like emails you or text you once a week to check in and so see. If under your insurance plan, there's something that you have access to where you can get that initial, um, training and education on what's going to work for your body and within your limitation.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: I think a lot of people think of physical therapy just as like, you know, an injury or like rehab and, and technically, I mean, especially when insurance is paying for it, yes, there has to be goals, but my physical therapist and I work on like, yeah, a lot of times it's. Sometimes I'll come in and she knows me so well now and [00:27:00] she'll be like, Oh, today's a breathing day.
All we're doing is like some cat cows and some like breathing. Yes. And it's true. Like that's what my nervous system needs in that moment. That's what my muscles need in that moment. And that's physical therapy.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yeah. And a lot of people aren't aware of occupational therapy and that's, um, a therapist who can help with, given what your body can do, how can we help you live your life?
So if you have a hard time with mobility or reaching for things, what kind of tools can help with that? Or if you, you know, your bones pop out of place, what kind of braces can help, you know, to stabilize, you know, so you can have an occupational therapist in addition to your physical therapist to help again with your whole health and wellbeing and your psychotherapist.
So your mental health therapist, because that is a necessity. essential part of your [00:28:00] well being making sure that your mind is right because whatever's happening in your mind will show up in your body.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah, absolutely. I think another thing I've gotten overwhelmed with in the past is like having all these different professionals and realize, so I just think it's important to realize that each person serves a different purpose but doesn't mean you have to have them all at the same time.
Right. You can like learn, you know, take something and I've had people like Because I am an out of pocket, like, uh, uh, out of network therapist, right? And so I've had clients where it's like, we've done a lot of really great work, and now I really think you need to focus on finding a physical therapist.
And then you can come back to me for some maintenance work. Like it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Um, so money is like a part of it, but also just like your time, right? All these different appointments and everything's builds on each other. There's really no right or wrong of like, see this one. And then this one and that one, it's just where you're
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: at.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Exactly. And [00:29:00] so that brings up, um, what you were mentioning at the beginning with like that perfectionism in like that ordering of how things have to be done. And there's no like foolproof way for anybody. It's personalized medicine, lifestyle medicine, figuring out what works for you, trial and error, and then continuing with that as long as it works.
The third thing, so we talked about technology, we talked about slow pacing. The third thing is friends. And so the Awesome thing about the fit on is that you can like, uh, share your screen with zoom. And so I'd have, um, like workout sessions with friends over zoom, where it would just like share the screen.
And we'd both be doing our stretching or we'd both be doing, you know, our yoga exercises. And that was really motivating with [00:30:00] accountability. Like, okay, let's meet once a week and do that. It didn't last very long because. Um, I
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: know that's the hardest part about some of some of us too, right? Like some of these things, it's so hard to like.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yeah. Yeah. Finding someone even like, um, you know, in a support group, like, Hey, can we meet? And, and that could be the group itself. You know, I'm not sure if that's something that you could offer destiny, like, Hey, let's get together and let's do these stretching routines because I'm not sure if, you know, over zoom, you can share like your, I, I.
Phone or iPad screen. Oh, no, I didn't know that. Oh, there's a band setting when you do your screen share. Yeah. Oh, that's perfect. Exactly. Oh my gosh. You can hear the audio and see the video and everything, and we can just all do it [00:31:00] together. And it's so helpful, um, when you feel like you're not doing it alone.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: I have thought so many times, I've never done it, but. Of like just hosting like these office hours where people can come and do their PT exercises on Zoom and all like be there, but I'm not a physical therapist. I'm not telling anyone what to do. Right. Right. You take what your physical therapist has given you and then show up here and do this.
And so if anyone is interested in that, send me an email and I will put it together. Don't want to put it together. If no one wants to do it.
Jumping in here because I actually edited this episode
in December of 2024, and this is now February of 2025, and I do actually have this body doubling group now inside my membership, Mentally Well While Chronically Ill, we meet most Mondays at 4 o'clock to do a body doubling group. So you can come and do your PT exercises, cleaning your house, meal prepping, journaling, breath work, whatever it is that you feel [00:32:00] like, you know, is hard for you to do on a consistent basis and it would be helpful to have someone else there kind of nudging you to be like, hey, let's do it, we can do this together.
That is now inside the mentally well, while chronically ill membership. We also have a support group on Fridays at noon Eastern, and then one to two educational workshops per month that you get all for the price of 17 per month. This membership is meant to be low cost. And it's not a replacement for therapy, but it is a really good adjunct to therapy.
So I hope you'll join us.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Okay. I love that. Sounds good. So, um, the last thing, so this is like a little bonus that is, um, complimenting everything else that I've said. And then after this is done, I'd love for us to actually practice and do it together.
I would love that. I'm kind of throwing this on you. You didn't know [00:33:00] before. No, that's okay. Go for it. The last thing is grace and compassion. Yes, self grace, self compassion, because it is so easy. And even automatic for us to beat ourselves up of I'm not doing this well, I'm not doing this right, I'm not doing this often enough, but living in a chronically ill body, living in a body with chronic pain is hard.
And something that most people do not understand if they don't have that experience. And so if you can just bathe yourself in compassion with, I'm doing my best and that is enough and my best will look different every day, affirm yourself, remind yourself of that. That's what's going to [00:34:00] help us sustain.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah. That last part, it's going to look different every day. Yeah. Really resonates. Um, yeah, so the technology piece is really cool. Yeah. Um, taking things slow and then using, using friends and I think especially for like Any kind of neurodivergence, like body doubling is just.
Can you explain
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: what body doubling is for people?
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: It's really, like. Just being around somebody else. One, I think like if the other person is doing the same thing as you, there's this mirror neuron that happens, your mirror neurons get turned on and help you like physically be more motivated to do it, like your body just wants to do it, but also sometimes people, it doesn't even have to be doing the same activity.
Like. You know, as a teenager, like, you clean your room better when your friends are sitting in your room. They're not even helping. Exactly. [00:35:00] They're just there. And some people will start to talk, like, when I hear body doubling online, people will be like, Yeah, because, you know, I don't want to be judged for, like, not doing it, so it makes me, like, I don't, I don't think it has to be all like that.
I think, like, we are just communal beings, and I don't even, maybe judgment plays a part in it sometimes, but Um, of why we're like motivated to do something, but I just think it's the energy of like being around other people. It, it just physically gives you more energy.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yes, yes, exactly. And that's exactly it.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yeah.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Okay. So I am, um, going to share my screen. Okay. And we're going to do some chair yoga range of motion exercises together. Um, and these are on the Faces of Health app.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: And remind me, um, is that your app? I don't think we've fully introduced faces of health, but, um, yeah, maybe you can say a little bit more about [00:36:00] that too.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yeah. So, um, faces of health, like your face on your head, um, it is an app that, um, I created in, um, 2022, I believe it's been out for a couple of years because I wanted to make mental health. skills more accessible for everyone. And so within this app, it teaches cognitive behavioral therapy skills, and these are things that you can use, um, in conjunction with your therapist.
Um, these are things that you can use on your own while you're kind of working up the nerve to start therapy. It teaches, um, body based and grounding skills to help you. Calm yourself if you're in a panic or experiencing spiraling thoughts of anxiety or kind of having a hard time pulling yourself out of depression.
Um, there are resident experts who are there, [00:37:00] all women of color doctors who are talking about, um, journaling for sexual trauma recovery, talking about, um, there's a psychiatrist there talking about like, you know, the questions to ask. When you meet a psychiatrist or a medication prescriber, and when is the right time to start medication, there's someone who's talking about, um, you know, just trauma in general, sleep hygiene, and so on and so forth.
And what we're going to see right now are chair yoga, range of motion exercises, there's a range of breath work exercises. And so trying to make again, mental health Skills accessible and it is fully free for everyone who downloads it. Amazing. Yeah. So let me share my screen and we're going to do a couple of things together.
Yes.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Looking forward to
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: it.[00:38:00]
All right. Are you connected to a pair of headphones? Other device? Okay, so hopefully you'll be able to hear it because I haven't, um, shared on this computer yet. So we're going to start with shoulders range of motion exercises. Let me just share with you guys what this looks like. So there are, um, body based skills, breath work, audiophile links.
There's a coloring book, um, a planner in there, and we're going to start with body based skills. There's tapping, EFT tapping, somatic exercises, and we're doing chair Yoga range of motion. Can we actually do head and neck because, um, I'm not sure if you saw me rolling my neck earlier. I'm having some neck tightness.
Love it.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: I am as well. So that's what I was doing when I woke up this morning.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: So let's start there and then we'll do, um, waist and hips and each video is like two to three minutes long. This is Dr. Blied, and this is our range of motion exercises. [00:39:00] Range of motion exercises help to increase our joint mobility and flexibility, and also helps to loosen the fascia.
And that helps with Everything in our bodies. Um, you can learn more specifically about the benefits during my chair yoga course. Well let's start with head and neck movements. Okay, so I want you to get comfortable and go ahead and lift your chin to the ceiling and then slowly drop your chin to your chest, okay?
As you're doing it, make sure that you're breathing, okay? So inhale up,
exhale down.
Inhale up,
exhale down.[00:40:00]
One more time. Inhale up,
exhale down. Okay, now with your chin at your chest, I want you to swing your head around in a half moon or half circle like a pendulum swing, okay, where we're touching each ear to the shoulders. Okay, so chin to chest, and then swing around ear to shoulder. It's going around the other way. You're at the shoulder.
Inhale. Exhale when you land. Inhale. Swing, exhale when you land. Inhale, swing, exhale when you land. A couple more times. Inhale,
exhale, inhale, exhale. [00:41:00] And back to center. Now I want you to drop your ears towards your shoulder and just take a breath here.
Okay, back up to center. Your side.
None of this should hurt. Okay. So if it hurts, listen to your body and ease off the movement. Top. One more time. Side.
And up to the side
and up. Now I want you to take your chin to the shoulder. Okay, so you're going to look over your right side.[00:42:00]
Breathe, inhale going to the other side and exhale when you get there. Take a breath while you're there. Okay, back to center. Inhale, exhale. Now we're going to, um, lengthen this stretch. I want you to drop your chin to your shoulder. Notice how that feels. Notice the lengthening in your neck and in your spine.
Okay. Back up and to center and the other side. Breathe. Lengthen that stretch. Chin down to shoulder.
Breathe up. And here we're, ah,[00:43:00]
do we have time for one
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: more? Yes, and I wanted to just give some thoughts on that too. So like, one, I'm so glad you said like, if, yeah, if you're getting, if it feels painful, ease up. Don't just stop. Don't just quit. Like, that's I think the big problem. I know I've experienced this. I still kind of can get caught up in it, but I remind myself all the time.
If you are experiencing discomfort, a lot of times we're like, we feel like, okay, we just need to stop what we're doing, but then we don't learn anything from the experience. So it's, it's ease up and find where like that most, where you are comfortable again, within this movement, having a personal trainer as a husband, like he always would show the exercises.
And then I would just, I would feel so like I had to make, I had to look like he did. And he also is not good at like, No, like being like less of at a lower level than where he's at. So it was [00:44:00] like, I felt like I had to like stretch as deeply or right. And I, rather than the, I had to have had this image of like where I had to be rather than what the process to get there looked like.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yes. Yeah. So,
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: and then the other thing too, that came to mind is like. These very, these are so foundational, these exercises, and when you, like, feel like you've gotten to, like, a health goal. Let's say you're, like, trying to do something for your health and you get there. You don't just, like, okay, well, I don't have to, like, drink water anymore because I got, I made this goal.
Like, these are the foundational, like, water, this is like drinking water every day. Yes. So those are the thoughts that came up for me as, as I was doing that.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: I love that. I'm going to use that. This is like drinking water. Yeah. Cause I talked about like stress management strategies, deep breathing, like your nutrition, do it for breakfast, lunch, dinner.
So that when you're under stress, those things can pull up like a muscle memory. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. [00:45:00] Yeah. Please. We'll do a waist and hips range of motion exercises. And like I mentioned before, all of the videos are like two to three minutes. And, um, they also explain the science behind what we're doing because I found myself, like I need to know.
Why? Like why are we doing this breathwork? Like why are we doing this grounding? You know, what does it mean? How does it help? And so understanding our biology and the neuroscience of these strategies helps people to explain it to others and also stick with it.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Totally.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: This is Dr. Blythe with more range of motion exercises, which are great for decreasing inflammation and increasing relaxation, as well as improving our mobility and our flexibility. And they can all be, as [00:46:00] you've seen, done from the comfort of your chair or your couch, or even the side of your bed. So now we're going to work on waist.
Twist and hip movements. So first, what I'd like you to do is go ahead and twist to your side so you're seated with your legs in front of you with your feet underneath your, your ankles underneath your knees and just twist to the side. I'm going to start by twisting to my right side and then look behind you.
Oh my gosh. Destiny. I needed this so much. Me too. Remembering to breathe. I can't, I don't know how good my microphone is, but hopefully you didn't hear that. And Crackle and pop from my body. It'd be like that sometimes. All right. So now go ahead and twist to the opposite side.
Remembering to breathe.[00:47:00]
Oh, that felt good. Let's do that one more time for me, but for you too.
Okay,
good. Now I want you to hold on to the sides of your chair and you're going to walk your hips to the front of the chair and then back. Okay, so one side, then the other. One side, then the other. Okay, not falling off the chair.
But just back and forth. Let's get some mobility in those hips. Okay. Again, up. You might look a little silly, look like an octopus going back and forth, but that's okay. It's just me and you here. Or maybe it's a group and that's fine too. [00:48:00] All right. Listen to your body and what it needs. If you need any additional stretch, I want you to step out one knee to the side and then the other.
Okay, so. I'm going to take my right knee first, and I'm just going to step it out to the side. All right, you may be able to do a full 90 degree angle, or maybe you can't. Just do what you can. And then I'm going to place my hands on the inside of my knees and press. Outwards. Just a little bit. Listen to your body.
This should not be painful. If it is, ease up and focus on your breath instead. Alright, let's bring that back to center. Then I'm going to do my other leg. That one's a little tighter, so. A little extra work. Alright, breathe. Good.[00:49:00]
Alright, you may need to stretch out your leg after that. Alright, now what I want you to do is draw one knee into your chest, holding it for support, and then just do circles with that knee. So I'm starting in the clockwise direction. You can start in whatever direction you want to. This is really good for hips and our hip flexors and our thighs.
And if you want to add in a rotation of your feet and ankles as well, it can help to increase our strength and our balance and our ankles, which is especially important if we do have issues with balance. Okay, how in the opposite direction? Okay, good. Not sure about you guys, but awesome. All right, [00:50:00] so opposite leg.
I just so happen to start with the counterclockwise direction for this one. Doesn't matter what you start with. Go ahead and if you want to add in the rotation for The ankle as well. Remembering to breathe and then opposite direction. Again, we're doing this three minutes, three times a day. If you do more than great.
But again, we're doing what we can when we can. All right. Okay. So now you're going to slide your right heel towards your left hip. So that's up like this and then gently press down if you can't get it all the way up, that's fine if you can only get it all the way down there towards your, uh, [00:51:00] mid shin, that's fine to do what works for your body listening to your body.
All right, we're going to do the opposite. Press down.
Good work. Thanks so much for joining me.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Awesome. Yes. Okay. So then in that video, like just the reminder that when we use time based exercises, that the whole reason for that is that you can meet yourself where it's not do 50 reps. It's Right. If you can only do three circles in one minute, then that's what your body can do. And the more you meet your body where it's at, the more you'll be able to progress.
But if you keep trying to push past it, and that was my problem for so long too, and probably is still, I probably still like get caught up in that and don't even realize, but [00:52:00] you're trying to do something the way the trainer has told you to, or like. And then you just feel defeated after, whereas when you meet yourself where you're at, your body's like, Oh, I trust you to do that exercise again because you didn't try to kill me.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yeah, exactly. That's where I get that grace and self compassion come in again. Like, okay, I was only able to do two minutes today. You did two minutes today! Yes. That's better than yesterday and everyone starts somewhere. And again, progress because your body can trust you.
Destiny Davis LPC CRC: Yes. I love this so much. I love, so your app, there's this app and then the, the fit.
What is, tell me the difference between this app and then the fit on that you mentioned earlier. That one's like just exercise, whereas yours has like a lot of mental health kind of stuff.
Monica Blied, PhD, MACL, BSP: Yes. Yes. So fit on is something that I use. I'm not affiliated with them whatsoever. However, like I said, if y'all are listening, you can send me a check, [00:53:00] but it has a lot of different exercises in different bodies and, you know, disabled bodies, you know, um, paraplegic and in, um, appearingly.
Fit bodies and thin bodies and thicker bodies, um, and brown bodies and white bodies and a variety of different exercises. So you can just do stretches or you can do not just do, but like stretches are really foundational. You can do stretches or Tai Chi, or you can do dances. There's like a lot of dance, um, exercises on there or strength training and so on and so forth and you can fit it to the.
energy capacity that you have, whether it be five minutes or 30 minutes or an hour. And so, um, that's something that I love to try to do whenever I have, um, a workout, um, motivation as well.
Listen to Dr. Blied’s interview with me, Destiny, on Episode 80 of The Chronic Illness Therapist Podcast.
Dr. Monica Blied is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, Brainspotting therapist, Health Coach, wife and mother of three. In 2012, she was diagnosed with systemic lupus (SLE) and fibromyalgia. She had to confront her own ideas of what “health” looks like and gained a new perspective on life. She utilizes her clinical training, scientific understanding, and personal experiences to help clients navigate life after diagnosis.
Meet Destiny - The host of The Chronic Illness Therapist Podcast and a licensed mental health therapist in the states of Georgia and Florida. Destiny offers traditional 50-minute therapy sessions as well as therapy intensives and monthly online workshops for the chronic illness community.
Destiny Davis, LPC CRC, is solely responsible for the content of this document. The views expressed herein may or may not necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Monica Blied.